A love letter to my husband

Our sweet baby girl made her debut on October 13, 2015 at 8:34am. 8 lbs, 8 oz and 21.5 inches long. Perfect in every way.

They say once baby arrives, you'll feel love like you've never experienced.  They were right.  She's amazing, and I'm so smitten with her. But it's her daddy that made me realize love can, in fact, go even deeper.

Evan, you deserve more than some silly blog post. And whoever reads this deserves more than some silly love letter to my husband.  But seeing you as a father, as my child's father, gives me all the feels.  It makes me the happiest person in the world.  Even in these first few weeks of weepy baby blues and long, sleepless nights -- you are the reason I made it through. 

Grateful is the word here... but even that, I don't think, covers it all.  I'm not even sure I'll ever be able to cover it all.  But I'll try.

I just feel the need to say thank you. For everything. From holding my hair back during labor, when the epidural hadn't been given yet and the pain made me sick.  Then laughing with me after the epidural, about what a mess I'd been.

Thank you for pledging in the hospital, to change every diaper in those first days. 

Thank you for your patience, when we got home and realized -- we have no idea what we're doing.

Thank you for helping around the house, when you knew the mess was driving me crazy but I hadn't done anything about it.

Thank you for making me oatmeal every morning.

Thank you for being so kind, when I'd break down in tears for the hundredth time in a day.

Thank you for reaching over at night, and holding my hand.

Thank you for supporting me. With an unending amount of patience.  

And maybe most importantly, thank you for being the best dad to our daughter. 

I remember looking over at you at our first ultrasound, seeing how excited you were, and wondering how it was possible to fall in love with you all over again.

Now I'll never forget looking over at you once we heard those first cries, and the doctor placed our girl in my arms for the first time. THAT is falling in love again. My heart remains so full.

You make me the happiest. And I hope I get the chance to repay all of these debts to you. 

xoxo,
JO

And so a new adventure awaits

Truth be told, I'd kind of resigned myself that the days of "Onstot Ever After" writings were over.  I haven't posted since 2014. The very last day of 2014. And here we are, October 2015.  I'd say a little time has passed.  

But oh, how much has happened since then! And I thought to myself, as I tried to remember my password to get into this blog, if I don't write this stuff down now -- I'll forget. I need to document this time of our lives. The excitement, the bliss... the terror. I guess what I'm saying is, this post is mostly for me. But if there's anyone who actually still reads this little corner of the inter webs, then... here we go. I make no apologies for how long I will ramble.

I'll start in February. The Tuesday after the Super Bowl, where the Patriots beat the Seahawks in a game that would soon be known more for "Deflategate" than any actual football achievement. It was 2am, and I woke up with a fierce feeling that something was different. I took a test.

It was positive.

2 weeks along... how's that for a gut feeling?

Several things ran through my head. A baby! *Our baby! How incredible! No more wine? I can't be a parent? We're going to be parents! Why did we do this? Why did we wait to do this? The strongest feeling of all though, was... I knew it. I just knew. And I knew Evan was going to be ecstatic.

I waited until that Friday night to tell the dad-to-be. That was really hard work, keeping that secret. I wanted to blurt it out every second that passed! But I knew, considering how little Evan and I see each other during the work week (still on those opposite schedules, two ships passing in the night) that I wanted to tell him when we actually had time to celebrate together. So, Friday night's dinner break became the plan.  

I enlisted the help of Bear, because he is, of course, my first child. 

I love his old man stare. Like, hold up... WHAT am I gonna be?

I realize I am not a crafty person, so please give my sign a break. It served the purpose! Evan walked in the front door with Bear to greet him, and I'll never forget his face once he realized what that sign said.  He looked up at me with the best grin. I couldn't hold back happy tears. Baby Onstot was on the way!

Our first ultrasound came a few weeks later, mostly to confirm that the little bean in my belly was still growing.  A good, strong heartbeat came along with it, and that was enough to carry us into full "we're having a baby" revelation. 

Big brother Bear was a little skeptical when I showed him the ultrasound. "I'm no longer the baby?"

The second revelation came after a hike near Yosemite, when we stopped for lunch. At a brewery. And the beer? No longer an option for me. Oh, how life was changing.

Root beer cheers! 

The things we do for baby.

One of my favorite stories of Papa Evan thus far: the day after I told him the news, we went to get gym memberships. And this goober tried to sign us up for child care. I had to remind him that we were many months away from actually having a baby. "We'll take just two adult memberships, please."

This is one of my favorite pictures.
Evan made his first "dad" purchase at REI -- a baby carrier for this wilderness child we'll be raising.

Next step was finding out -- boy or girl? Full disclosure: I KNEW it was a boy. Just as solidly as I knew I was pregnant 2 weeks in... Baby O was most definitely a boy. And the old wives tales were all siding with me. I had very little morning sickness, only got sick twice. Pickles? I'll take the whole jar, please. The only thing that said "girl" was the Chinese prediction calendar. Those things are way too specific to be right.

It was time to find out! We had the technician place her bets in an envelope, then Evan surprised me by having cupcakes made for the two of us.  

We bit into them together, in the empty soon-to-be nursery... and...

PINK!

So much for my intuition. We were having a sweet baby girl. Despite the overwhelming thrill I felt, I also panicked a bit. This was not what I felt control over! Girls are... GIRLS! I could handle rough and tumble, care-free, dirty boys. But so much pink? I had to brace myself. Evan, of course, had no fears. He's going to make the best dad.

Grandma Onstot found out first, because she was staying with us at the time... she also got to eat a cupcake. :)

We told the rest of our families by ordering "poppers" to launch over Face-time.  My brother and dear sister-in-law had my parents over for the big reveal, and surprised *us by ALSO having over quite the crowd of family and friends! I was so surprised.  It was the best feeling, turning the camera and watching face after face pop up on the screen. 

The aftermath of the big POP with M & P! Pink paper everywhere.

Colin and Christy popped theirs a few days later in Denver, and I wish I had pictures! Alas, I don't... but this part of the baby timeline was definitely a favorite. Even though we had to do everything from afar, technology certainly made it a lot easier and whole lot more fun to see everyone's faces. 

We waited a little longer before "publicly" announcing (i.e., social media and at work.) When it came to saying something on-air, I remember being very nervous. When it comes to actually talking about yourself, and your personal life, it's a little weird. 

My team, on "announcement day."

The nursery slowly came together after that, and when I say slowly -- I mean... we have 9 months to prepare for this thing and WHAT THE BABY IS DUE NEXT MONTH? I guess we'll get a stroller now.

We started with the crib. And while Evan was excited to put it together... Bear got to the directions first.  See snack marks in picture below.

Jealous, much?

Good thing this guy is a smarty pants... we got it assembled no problem. Unfortunately for Bear.

Proud dad in front of his handiwork. 

Then we painted. (Anyone remember our "Rid the Red" project in Lubbock? This was SO MUCH better.) In and out, one day. It helps when you don't have 5 layers of primer and ceilings to tackle. 

I digress.

Sweet baby girl's room went from neutral beige to a cool mint.

This picture gives me all the feels.

Last wall, like a champ!

Aaaaand we're done!

The painting project was followed by a steady stream of collecting baby things. We are so grateful to have had a beautiful shower with family and friends in Dallas in June, then a second, equally as beautiful shower, in Fresno with co-workers. Thank you, so much, for helping get us set up. We certainly wouldn't feel as prepared as we do if it weren't for you!

Speaking of feeling prepared... I present to you -- proof Evan knows how to change a diaper. Wife win. ;)

 We also made sure we were part of the elite club of "those parents." 

The "Safety First" Honda CR-V

This car is actually pretty awesome, and I would recommend it to anyone even if a baby isn't on the way... but you should see how wide those back doors open! This momma will have no problem getting that car seat in.  (Ugh, how "parental." Don't tell anyone I said that.) 

So I guess that gets us about caught up!  One week or less until the big birthday.

Baby girl, we are SO ready to meet you. (We apologize in advance for all the mistakes to come.) xoxo