A love letter to my husband

Our sweet baby girl made her debut on October 13, 2015 at 8:34am. 8 lbs, 8 oz and 21.5 inches long. Perfect in every way.

They say once baby arrives, you'll feel love like you've never experienced.  They were right.  She's amazing, and I'm so smitten with her. But it's her daddy that made me realize love can, in fact, go even deeper.

Evan, you deserve more than some silly blog post. And whoever reads this deserves more than some silly love letter to my husband.  But seeing you as a father, as my child's father, gives me all the feels.  It makes me the happiest person in the world.  Even in these first few weeks of weepy baby blues and long, sleepless nights -- you are the reason I made it through. 

Grateful is the word here... but even that, I don't think, covers it all.  I'm not even sure I'll ever be able to cover it all.  But I'll try.

I just feel the need to say thank you. For everything. From holding my hair back during labor, when the epidural hadn't been given yet and the pain made me sick.  Then laughing with me after the epidural, about what a mess I'd been.

Thank you for pledging in the hospital, to change every diaper in those first days. 

Thank you for your patience, when we got home and realized -- we have no idea what we're doing.

Thank you for helping around the house, when you knew the mess was driving me crazy but I hadn't done anything about it.

Thank you for making me oatmeal every morning.

Thank you for being so kind, when I'd break down in tears for the hundredth time in a day.

Thank you for reaching over at night, and holding my hand.

Thank you for supporting me. With an unending amount of patience.  

And maybe most importantly, thank you for being the best dad to our daughter. 

I remember looking over at you at our first ultrasound, seeing how excited you were, and wondering how it was possible to fall in love with you all over again.

Now I'll never forget looking over at you once we heard those first cries, and the doctor placed our girl in my arms for the first time. THAT is falling in love again. My heart remains so full.

You make me the happiest. And I hope I get the chance to repay all of these debts to you. 

xoxo,
JO

And so a new adventure awaits

Truth be told, I'd kind of resigned myself that the days of "Onstot Ever After" writings were over.  I haven't posted since 2014. The very last day of 2014. And here we are, October 2015.  I'd say a little time has passed.  

But oh, how much has happened since then! And I thought to myself, as I tried to remember my password to get into this blog, if I don't write this stuff down now -- I'll forget. I need to document this time of our lives. The excitement, the bliss... the terror. I guess what I'm saying is, this post is mostly for me. But if there's anyone who actually still reads this little corner of the inter webs, then... here we go. I make no apologies for how long I will ramble.

I'll start in February. The Tuesday after the Super Bowl, where the Patriots beat the Seahawks in a game that would soon be known more for "Deflategate" than any actual football achievement. It was 2am, and I woke up with a fierce feeling that something was different. I took a test.

It was positive.

2 weeks along... how's that for a gut feeling?

Several things ran through my head. A baby! *Our baby! How incredible! No more wine? I can't be a parent? We're going to be parents! Why did we do this? Why did we wait to do this? The strongest feeling of all though, was... I knew it. I just knew. And I knew Evan was going to be ecstatic.

I waited until that Friday night to tell the dad-to-be. That was really hard work, keeping that secret. I wanted to blurt it out every second that passed! But I knew, considering how little Evan and I see each other during the work week (still on those opposite schedules, two ships passing in the night) that I wanted to tell him when we actually had time to celebrate together. So, Friday night's dinner break became the plan.  

I enlisted the help of Bear, because he is, of course, my first child. 

I love his old man stare. Like, hold up... WHAT am I gonna be?

I realize I am not a crafty person, so please give my sign a break. It served the purpose! Evan walked in the front door with Bear to greet him, and I'll never forget his face once he realized what that sign said.  He looked up at me with the best grin. I couldn't hold back happy tears. Baby Onstot was on the way!

Our first ultrasound came a few weeks later, mostly to confirm that the little bean in my belly was still growing.  A good, strong heartbeat came along with it, and that was enough to carry us into full "we're having a baby" revelation. 

Big brother Bear was a little skeptical when I showed him the ultrasound. "I'm no longer the baby?"

The second revelation came after a hike near Yosemite, when we stopped for lunch. At a brewery. And the beer? No longer an option for me. Oh, how life was changing.

Root beer cheers! 

The things we do for baby.

One of my favorite stories of Papa Evan thus far: the day after I told him the news, we went to get gym memberships. And this goober tried to sign us up for child care. I had to remind him that we were many months away from actually having a baby. "We'll take just two adult memberships, please."

This is one of my favorite pictures.
Evan made his first "dad" purchase at REI -- a baby carrier for this wilderness child we'll be raising.

Next step was finding out -- boy or girl? Full disclosure: I KNEW it was a boy. Just as solidly as I knew I was pregnant 2 weeks in... Baby O was most definitely a boy. And the old wives tales were all siding with me. I had very little morning sickness, only got sick twice. Pickles? I'll take the whole jar, please. The only thing that said "girl" was the Chinese prediction calendar. Those things are way too specific to be right.

It was time to find out! We had the technician place her bets in an envelope, then Evan surprised me by having cupcakes made for the two of us.  

We bit into them together, in the empty soon-to-be nursery... and...

PINK!

So much for my intuition. We were having a sweet baby girl. Despite the overwhelming thrill I felt, I also panicked a bit. This was not what I felt control over! Girls are... GIRLS! I could handle rough and tumble, care-free, dirty boys. But so much pink? I had to brace myself. Evan, of course, had no fears. He's going to make the best dad.

Grandma Onstot found out first, because she was staying with us at the time... she also got to eat a cupcake. :)

We told the rest of our families by ordering "poppers" to launch over Face-time.  My brother and dear sister-in-law had my parents over for the big reveal, and surprised *us by ALSO having over quite the crowd of family and friends! I was so surprised.  It was the best feeling, turning the camera and watching face after face pop up on the screen. 

The aftermath of the big POP with M & P! Pink paper everywhere.

Colin and Christy popped theirs a few days later in Denver, and I wish I had pictures! Alas, I don't... but this part of the baby timeline was definitely a favorite. Even though we had to do everything from afar, technology certainly made it a lot easier and whole lot more fun to see everyone's faces. 

We waited a little longer before "publicly" announcing (i.e., social media and at work.) When it came to saying something on-air, I remember being very nervous. When it comes to actually talking about yourself, and your personal life, it's a little weird. 

My team, on "announcement day."

The nursery slowly came together after that, and when I say slowly -- I mean... we have 9 months to prepare for this thing and WHAT THE BABY IS DUE NEXT MONTH? I guess we'll get a stroller now.

We started with the crib. And while Evan was excited to put it together... Bear got to the directions first.  See snack marks in picture below.

Jealous, much?

Good thing this guy is a smarty pants... we got it assembled no problem. Unfortunately for Bear.

Proud dad in front of his handiwork. 

Then we painted. (Anyone remember our "Rid the Red" project in Lubbock? This was SO MUCH better.) In and out, one day. It helps when you don't have 5 layers of primer and ceilings to tackle. 

I digress.

Sweet baby girl's room went from neutral beige to a cool mint.

This picture gives me all the feels.

Last wall, like a champ!

Aaaaand we're done!

The painting project was followed by a steady stream of collecting baby things. We are so grateful to have had a beautiful shower with family and friends in Dallas in June, then a second, equally as beautiful shower, in Fresno with co-workers. Thank you, so much, for helping get us set up. We certainly wouldn't feel as prepared as we do if it weren't for you!

Speaking of feeling prepared... I present to you -- proof Evan knows how to change a diaper. Wife win. ;)

 We also made sure we were part of the elite club of "those parents." 

The "Safety First" Honda CR-V

This car is actually pretty awesome, and I would recommend it to anyone even if a baby isn't on the way... but you should see how wide those back doors open! This momma will have no problem getting that car seat in.  (Ugh, how "parental." Don't tell anyone I said that.) 

So I guess that gets us about caught up!  One week or less until the big birthday.

Baby girl, we are SO ready to meet you. (We apologize in advance for all the mistakes to come.) xoxo

2014: A Look Back

As I enjoy my second cup of coffee, on the couch, with Bear (yes, he's up here with me... breaking the rules... don't tell Evan) I can't help but think about what a year it's been.  Change, in every sense of the word, met us in 2014.  Not easy change, mind you. But I am still very grateful for this life we have.

We still miss Gordon dearly.  Evan's dad passed away in May, after a frustrating battle with PSP.    The holidays were especially hard, since it was all about our "firsts." First Thanksgiving, first Christmas, without him. I've learned, it doesn't get easier. But we made it. I know he celebrated right along with us, forever in our hearts.

I'm pretty sure he's singing along to Boomer Sooner.
The ultimate sign of welcoming a daughter-in-law to the family. :)

Another obvious change for 2014, was our big move to California.  I'll be honest, the weeks leading up to it were not easy for us. Mostly me. It's the biggest move I've ever made; I had a hard time leaving my beloved home state, my family, my friends. Fortunately, I have a very patient and supportive husband, who handled my sporadic meltdowns with grace. (Oh, you don't know about those? I can't be lovely to be around all the time. I know, breaking news.)

4 months into our new landing spot, I'd still say it was a good move.  We both really enjoy our jobs, our new home, and we've picked up some new hobbies along the way (thanks, great proximity to wine country and mountains!) The hardest part is still not having our circle of friends and family close, but no one ever said it's bad to have too many friends. We're working on that. :)

So here's to a new year, new adventures, new lots of things.  I look forward to new aspects of change, but hope some things stay the same: our good health, our good fortune, our lives together.  And we hope the same for you.

Here's to the new chapter.  Happy 2015, friends... we are so grateful for each and every one of you.  Much love from year one in California. xoxo

The Onstots, Christmas 2014

Turkey and Trailblazin': Thanksgiving 2014

We survived the move into our new Fresno home (almost) just in time to host Thanksgiving for Evan's mom!  

We closed on November 8th, I turned 25 on November 15th, and Mary arrived on the 26th. Whew. Those couple of weeks flew by. Still working on a few things around the house, but it was in order enough to find some very crucial things: the roasting pan and... well, the wine I suppose.

Too many cooks in the kitchen?

Bear seems to think so.

Bear loves pictures.

 This year was a first for me -- I actually cooked a turkey! I followed the advice of Ina Garten, and she got me through it.  Maybe I'll try something fancier next year, but my goal this time was just to get it cooked through and not give anyone food poisoning.

Evan carving the masterpiece.

After our feast for three, we made the short drive up to Yosemite National Park. It's only about 2 hours from Fresno, and worth it.  Fun fact I've learned about living near the mountains: these drives make me incredibly carsick.  As long as the destination is worth the journey, am I right? Below are some pictures I took, they'll pretty much speak for themselves. :)

Yosemite Valley, looking at Half Dome.

Half Dome is in the middle, that curved thing.

Good-looking guy in the Valley.

 

Evan got to break in his new boots.

The waterfalls were a little sparse, but not a week later from when I took this it rained and they are supposedly gushing again!  

In the spring, those rocks are typically covered by water. Drought, anyone?

This deer was so close! Must be used to people.

My dear with a deer.

So close!

We ended the day with some drinks by the fire at the Historic Awahnee Hotel. Gorgeous building, with some pretty stellar views.  

View at the grand room.

Evan is looking forward to many camping/backpacking trips up there this spring/summer.  And apparently, I will be joining him. I may just get lost and end up (saved) right here in this great room. But it will be totally on accident, I swear. Stay tuned. :)

Finding Fresno

We've now been Fresno residents for about 2 months.  In that time, we've really made it a point to dive into our new community, and take in every experience possible. It's been busy, exciting, and worthwhile -- Evan just commented the other day, how driving around doesn't feel as foreign.  We're settling in, and no longer feeling like we're on a really long, working vacation. Hallelujah.

By this point, I can tell you we really like it here. As much as I love Lubbock and our time there, the truth is -- there is so much more going on in Fresno.  A farmer's market on every corner, wine festivals, festivals of whatever you want (we once stumbled upon a koi festival, who'da thunk those existed?) arts, entertainment.

I give you now, a rundown of the fun we've gotten ourselves into.

First Fresno Grizzlies game!

The Giants just sold the franchise to the Houston Astros -- yay, Texas!

Another bonus to living in Fresno, is it's proximity to the entire state.  A quick weekend road trip can get you to the beach (in under 2 hours) or the mountains (again, under 2 hours.)  Our first day-trip was to Shaver Lake for lunch.  

Shaver Lake

Quaint little town surrounding the water.

We've also traded in our Big 12 for the Mountain West conference.  Admittedly, the tailgate experience is lacking to how we do it in Texas. It starts 2-hours to game-time and ends at kick-off (seriously, you have to pack everything up and be outta there) but still... it's football, and we're so happy to have a new team to cheer for.  Here's a look from our first Fresno State football game!

Go Bulldogs!

This is random, but one thing that is still so weird to me -- you can buy liquor at grocery stores, including Target! It still catches me off guard when I see tequila down the aisles, right next to the cases of water.  Okay... moving on.

'

Lucky for us, the Central Valley is a major wine-producing area. There's always some new tasting event happening around every corner -- we are happy to oblige.

Evan's co-anchor Stefani and her husband joined us on the Clovis Wine Walk!

The Big Fresno Fair is a really big deal here. They have concerts, horse racing, a shark tank and of course -- livestock shows, fried food, and rides.  Evan and I went to check it out, and had a great time.

Watching the horse races; we got there too late to make a bet, but still fun to watch!

On the boardwalk.
Evan even faced his fears and rode the ferris wheel with me.  Let's give that boy a round of applause!

 The next day (I told you, we keep busy!) we got up early and drove to the coast. Got to Pismo Beach right as the fog burned off, and watched these surfers brave the waves.  That water looks so cold... I am impressed by them, just for that fact.

Pismo Beach

More Pismo

We stopped for lunch at a little local joint, and had -- what else? -- clam chowder and fish & chips.

From Pismo, we drove back east through San Luis Obispo, where Evan's dad went to college. Then, it was on to Paso Robles (Paso, as we "locals" call it) for a day of wine tasting.  We also snuck an olive oil tasting stop in there, and if you've never done one of those -- come visit. I'll go with you. It was amazing.

2nd stop, Opolo's.  

The drive is gorgeous -- vineyards as far as the eye can see.  Paso is considered the new Napa when it comes to quality wines.  The soil here is on-point for grape growing. 

View from our last stop, where we enjoyed our wine with a cheese pairing. Hello, favorite things.

We stayed overnight at the historic Paso Robles Inn, had dinner in the downtown square, then capped off the weekend with brunch.  This Bloody Mary might be one of the best I've ever had. Simple, and topped with prosciutto salt. PROSCIUTTO SALT.  Oh, and house-made pickles.  I'm craving one right this second.

Fast forward a week, and we decided to head the other direction from Fresno, up to Kings Canyon National Park and get a look at the giant sequoias.  Again, only an hour and a half drive - and you're looking up at these.

Incredible feat of nature.

Tree model.

General Grant is the 3rd largest tree in the WORLD.  It's also known as the Nation's Christmas Tree.
Happy Holidays!

Taking a picture in front of it is kinda pointless, b/c all you see is the base.
  Impossible to get the whole thing.

The very next week, it snowed several inches at Kings Canyon, and General Grant is now covered in snow.  We went just in time to not freeze, but I bet it's even more beautiful now!

As for how we are adjusting when we are *on the clock, it's still a little weird. I get out of bed when Evan gets in, and we have about an hour together each weekday from when I get home, and he goes in.  Not great, but we're both loving our jobs so it's a fair trade.

Even the dog thinks it's weird what time I go to work. Every morning, when he hears me heading out the door, he comes and sits down in the hallway and just stares at me. Like, where do you think you're going? Then he goes back to bed.  Bear has a rough life.

That gets us just about caught up.  It's now November, and the final step to us "settling in" is -- yes -- moving again. We close on our house this week (as I write this) and we are so excited to lay down some roots.  Get our stuff out of storage.  Use a full set of silverware again, if we can find the rest.  Let Bear run to his heart's content in the backyard. Swim, eventually, in our new pool. (Evan's wish list granted.)  Organize. Ah. I love that word.

Oh, and Happy Halloween from these two critters -- we're all monkey business, folks.

Getting creative when you pick out a costume 2 hours before party time.
More fun than a barrel of -- you know.